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How to Become a ME!

My favorite paper in high school was my How to Become a… paper. It was so much fun to write because it was a directional paper. So I decided to update you with my crazy first day of finals week with a How to Become a successful tester! :) So here goes, hope it entertains.

Wake up, it’s Sunday morning (a good Sunday morning if you ignore the third eye on your face). Go to church. ENJOY IT! Call roommate to come pick you up because it is snowing and you didn’t take a jacket to church. Change out of church clothes and go to eat at 4. Eat pasta and decide that is enough. Go back to the apartment and do everything and anything but study. Have a dance party. Watch 3 complete episodes of T.H.S. on the E!, then Center Stage. Go to Ward Prayer and take lots of fun pictures. Eat a cookie and go home. Once you get home decide maybe you should read Chapter 16 of Massey. Enjoy it. You like sociology and the descriptions of why young men are the way they are. At around 11 decide you are really hungry. Learn that the rest of the roommates are hungry too. Decide to go to the store at midnight.

Don’t leave until 12:45 because you all decided to blow bubbles for an hour straight. Go out to the car. Freeze! Almost hit 3 people with your car just trying to exit the parking lot. Laugh really hare with the roommates. Go into Wal*Mart. Have a hard time picking something to eat. Decide on Michalein’s macaroni. It is cheap, $1.08. also get pop tarts and lemonade. Purchase items and go out to the car. See the suburban next to your car. See the old creepy dead lady in the front seat. Ask if she is dead. Look at her again and laugh because you don’t know what to do. Get a bright idea, her window is open and she will jump if you turn on your car… that is if she is still alive. Turn on your car. Notice she did not move. Fall to the ground with your roommates once again and laugh. Decide together that you have to check on her. Talk the attractive one into doing it. Have it go something like this:
“ma’am….. Ma’Am…. MA’AM (with a tap on the shoulder)!” She will look up.
“are you okay?” she will respond with a yes.

Get into the car. Drive away fast because you are laughing so hard. Listen to the attractive roommate tells you that it’s okay because she smokes. Laugh because that doesn’t make sense. Go back to the apartment and make your yummy food and text your best guy friend who is living in Chicago. Tell him about your trip. Laugh as he gets frustrated with you, after all it is 3 am in Utah (that 4 in Chicago). Play a little longer. Fill up Belix the beanbag horse with beans, then go to sleep.

Wake up Monday morning. Smile, it’s 10 and you have no class! Finish reading chapter 16 then check your Facebook. See that you are number 2 in the nicest person competition app. Think, “hum… that’s kinda cool.” Write a really cool Facebook status about what happened at Walmart and assure everyone that that is how to pass finals. Do some other things until the roommate calls. Go to breakfast with her. Be mad that the only cereal is Apple Jacks. You don’t like Apple Jacks, but you eat them. Be sad there aren’t breakfast rice crispy treats. Go back to your room and study for sociology some more. Discover that chapter 16 isn’t even on your test and you now have to read chapter 21 and 39. Be glad you read chapter 16 because it was interesting. Get bored of studying. Decide to learn the “warm up” from Center Stage to Candy. Laugh as your RA walks past the window. Go outside and read books with her. Stress reliever. Read all the little elementary books. Go back to you room and study again. Finish all your studying EARLY! Decide to shave your legs. Be proud of yourself that you cut yourself for the first time and that you cut yourself 4 times. Also be proud that it is the first time you shaved in Logan.

Eat a pop tart because you want to be an eater. Write your How to Become A. look at the clock. See that it’s 5:06 and you are going to eat at 6. Be excited, wonder what’s for dinner. Hope cute boy from English class is there. Realize that it is 5:08 and you are still in your jammas. Hurry and finish your “How to Become a” with mention that you also have 2 meetings tonight. Feel stressed all the sudden but feel like you are a success and will totally pass your finals. :]

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