Life of Sare

Guys, I am used to about 14 views each post. That's it (which is weird, because I post every blog link to my family's Facebook group and there are 40 of us in there... Thanks guys!). I was not expecting that many hits on one post, but I got it, and it has sparked a lot of conversation that I feel to be very productive. I have been so honored by the respect I have been given from those who’s opinions differ from mine, and the dialogue we have been able to have on the matter of race in today's society. Some of the best conversations have come from the, "But why?" question. But why is that offensive? On Facebook I shared this Vox link , so I won't get into that, but I do want to take some time to talk about taking offense. Life is a collection of experience. After one is written into our book, the next experience will be affected because of it. In kindergarten, I had a true Corrina, Corrina experience in class, when someone asked, "Who used all ...

Day 29: Sunday Circle Headed home for Grandma Viv's 88th birthday weekend.  I ate lots of ice cream and no cake, because cake is yuck. Had so much fun catching up with the Fam! Felt so good to be home for a bit! Miss all y'all way too much

Last night my social media feed was filled with photos of friends attending their weekend parties in their Halloween costumes. There were a couple families and friend groups who were the cast of Napoleon Dynamite, a hilarious couple who went as their dogs, Curious George and the man in the Yellow Suite, and even Tess and Emily Tyler (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen from Billboard Dad). People are so creative when it comes to Halloween costumes! I am so not! But then I saw a couple’s costume I was so unbelievable uncomfortable with. alloween It was on Snapchat. Two people, one had painted himself brown to depict a character, a “hero” from a TV show we all watched in high school. Not just face painted, but arms, neck, chest. Then they added the chains. This, to that couple was a costume, but this also has a name, and that name is “blackface”. Minstrel shows started in the mid to late 19 th century, where white actors would paint their face to depict blacks on stage. The acto...

Day 27: Passion Oh, high school. When I felt like I could make a difference in others’ lives by being kind and doing the right thing. This year of high school, I started the "Adopt a Freshman" project where we assigned seniors to have freshman buddies and the upper classman just checked in on the underclassmen. We were there for each other. I also was the chairman for a hair donation dive that year. I partnered with a bunch of salons and stylists, got girls and one boy to agree to grow their hair out all year, then at the end of the year we had a big day where everyone got a new hair style, and we donated 77 feet of hair to our foundation of choice. In both those projects, I felt like I made a difference. Those projects are still what drive me. How can I help someone else get back on their feet? How can I help them feel better? This drives me because I know how much it helps, because there have been times where I have needed people to do the same for me.  Also,...

Day 26: Universal Miraculous

Day 24: Capture This Moment

Day 22: Sunday Circle

Day 20: Laughter Medicine These two are my everything medicine, but the have me laughing all the time. We love the song " Laugh So You Don't Cry " by Andy Davis, and while we do also cry, I am so eternally grateful for these siblings and my amazing family, who always has my back, and helps me to laugh so I don't cry, and laugh until I cry, and laugh while I am crying.

Day19: Earth Love Not long ago I was asked what my place of refuge is. I have a few, but the trails just outside my valley are the place I take my soul to recharge. It feels so good to be back home with this sweet girl. NOTE: This is another time travel photo. Taken October 27.

Day 18: The Grief Shift Everyone grieves differently.  I am so blessed to be in such an amazing family that is so close. Tonight we sent 11 balloons to Heaven from 11 different towns for Dillon's 11th birthday.  Losing a cousin, then a nephew, than a pregnancy of my own, I have really been so grateful for my family and the strength they give me every day.  NOTE: I am posting these late, so this picture is actually from October 26, and I am a time traveler.

Day: 16 Conscious Gratitude

Day 15: Wave of Light

Day 8: Sunday Circle

Day 7: For the First Time

Day 6: Bella Luna Today was about the moon, but I was too busy releasing the stars. Tonight was an absolute dream that I will for sure post about later, but until then... 

Day 4: Belonging I was so excited to tell my BYF friends I was pregnant. I found out about my miscarriage right before a shift and just texted telling them I couldn't come in. I didn't tell them why. I was heart broken, but above that, I didn't fit! I was with this group of mother's (yeah, most of them were really bad at it and learning from me to become better), and my body wouldn't allow me to become one. I didn't belong anymore.   In the two years of our marriage, things changed. I became less and less confident in myself, and began to stay in a lot more. I've talked about that a bit over the last month, but for those who knew me in college, the idea if me sitting on the couch for even an hour would be baffling! And, yet, I would be home for days over summer break, just sitting on the couch. Talking to NO ONE!  Salt Lake has brought a lot of good to me. The Debra Bonner Unity Gospel Choir is one of them. I started going just because I was s...

Day 3: Meaningful Mantra I have a million mantras and sayings. But there are 2 that I am currently living by... My daily morning mantra: Life mantra:

Day 2: Mourning Ritual I have always thought my life should be a movie, even when I was little. I was SO dramatic as a child (my family is reading this now thinking, “You still are…”). Now, in my adult life, things happen to me and I look around for the hidden camera, because seriously? THIS.CAN’T.BE.REAL.LIFE! I hope you read that with hand claps. My life could be a comedy, drama, at times an action, and I’m a walking chick flick. Maybe, that’s why I wasn’t usually phased the mentioning of houses being bugged, because my house should have had hidden cameras (yeah, I have also taken up satire). Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because, just like my overly dramatic life, all good movies have a soundtracks. My soundtrack goes back to my favorite assignment given to me my freshman year in college. Pick 15 songs that you relate most to and write a paragraph about how you relate. I don’t still write about how they relate, but I still keep a rotating list of 15 songs that relate mo...

Day 1. Sunrise Blessing Getting out of bed is the worst part of the day for me. I hate it. But, lately, I have just been feeling so grateful that I have a new start. A new opportunity. A new beginning. Yesterday was hard. I didn't do my best, but I get to try again today. What a blessing that is.  I'm not one for sunrises, but this morning I had the opportunity to pick my best friend up from the airport BEFORE the sun was up. However, it was raining. So we didn't get a sunrise. But we had rainfall, my favorite. During my sunrise blessing I also had the reminder of being able to wash things and clean them, just like rain cleans things and makes the earth smell clean.  I'm excited for this month and the challenge I have before me. 

A couple weeks ago I sat on a couch playing with my 5 month old nephew.  "How old would yours be now?" She asked.  "9 months," I responded. "How did you know?" I felt brave enough to ask.  "I can see it in your eyes."  You thought you were in the clear after September's Chiari posts. Honestly, I did too. I did capture your grief for myself last year. Wrote it in my journal, didn't post a picture. When this was posted a few days ago, toyed with doing this, but didn't know how vulnerable I was willing to be. I have gone through a lot in the last year, moved to a new state to recreate myself, met new people... Do I really what to bring this all back?  But then I think back to back home. The thing I miss most is working at BYF. I miss using my personal experiences to help others, motivate them, and show them that yeah LIFE IS TOUGH! But we are tougher, and we can get through it.  A year ago I remember talking to a lot...

Words are hard. That's just a fact of life, right? But lately, that haa been even more true for me. Words are so hard! I can't remember basic words that I use every day.  Not only words, but also names! The other day I was talking to my mom about one of my BEST FRIENDS.  I looked at her with complete desperation, I forgot her name! I began to lost everything about her. What she does as a living. Where she lives now, her parents name. Her starting position on the high school basketball team, her sisters name, how amazing she looks in red lipstick. At this point in tears because I truly don't know her name. Common mom! You know her!!!! My mom is now giving me crazy eyes because she knows her and I should know her name. My mom eventually told me her name and I was fine, but- names are hard.  Brain fog is a side effect of Chiari that most Chiarians joke about, but it is also one of my biggest fears. When the brain fog hits and I am in public and now just look stupid....