Life of Sare

Growing up I had headaches all the time. I spent a lot of time crying in my dark dark room at really young ages because my migraines were so bad. I had a great pediatrician growing up and he always equated it to my sinuses (I was ALWAYS congested). I took a lot of antibiotics as a child for sinus infections. I was also super lucky, because I had a nurse mom who would just call my amazing pediatrician and say, "Another infection..." and he would call in the medication, at least that's how I remember it. And, while I did have sinus infections a lot, that was not always the reason for my headaches when I was little.   In high school I was super accident prone. Basketball practices were the prime time to make jokes about me being on the ground again, and my coaches would check my shoe laces and tie them in triple knots. The fourth or fifth time I would fall, hard (and this was at every practice mind you), Coach would walk up to the black lines and wipe them down just to ...

And happy Chiari Malformation Awareness Month ! As promised I will be giving you a life update... next week... But first I thought I would try to explain to you what Chiari is, and I thought maybe I would do so through memes because-  (insert meme about how memes explain everything but...  ...so yeah) So here we go!!! Let's all start by saying it.  Now that we can say it, what does it mean?  Need a visual? Well, in doctor terms: My "tonsil" is 7mm long. In my terms: My leaking egg whites are 7 mm long. But...  Why is this happening? Chances are it is congenital. That means,  And that I've just got That's right, So, in the case of a zombie apocalypse, I'm the one you want on your team for many reasons. The first being  Other curses are  And As well as, ...

I’ve taken some time off. And when I say “some time” a mean almost a year. And when I say “off”, I mean I have been doing my best to live my best life. Not long after I wrote my last blog post, I bought myself a necklace. It is really simple, and I haven’t taken it off since. It is a reminder to not go out into the world to find myself but to create myself. In the last year, REcreating myself is exactly what I have been looking to do. Let’s address the elephant in the room, or on the blog should I say? Transitioning from a wife back into the single world has been strange. I am going to do my best to avoid the WHYS behind the divorce, for respect of both of us, but hindsight is 20/20, and I can see now, that a year ago I was in a real unhealthy place. I transitioned from the girl who planned a giant casino night for the whole university to the girl who was afraid to leave her house for fear of what people would think. I shifted from the girl who would talk to anyone about ...

I LOVE my night job. It is only one night a week, and only 2 hours. My monthly paycheck pays for 2 weeks’ worth of gas. I definitely don’t love it for the money. But, I can tell you why I love it. I love my job because we talk about Personal Power. We talk about the importance of making a choice and owning it. We talk about being proud of decisions you make and making sure to use your Personal Power in a positive way, doing something you would be happy to tell your mom about. I love my job because we talk about owing your emotions. We practice I statements, and knowing that our emotions are ours and no one made us feel that way, but that our reaction is something that personally belongs to us. We talk about how with our reactions we have consequences, and consequences are not always bad. We talk about how it is okay to feel angry and upset, but how we express our anger needs to be positive. We now know that when we are angry, we never hurt ourselves. This means we avoid negative s...

My favorite assignment I was ever given was one from my second semester in college. It was in Eng1020, and the assignment was called “My Life Sounds Like.” This assignment was given back when it was still cool to make someone a CD… Well barely in the time. I think it was probably the last CD I made, actually. The assignment was to make a playlist of songs (I think there were about 15 on it) that tell someone about your life. We then had to write a paragraph about each song diving into the lyrics. I loved that it gave me the opportunity to hide behind a song yet truly look into my life and discover what was truly going on.  I don’t really know what was on that CD, because once you made it you picked a partner (mine was picked for me because I was convientely in Washington DC for the Inauguration of Barrack Obama on the day of that class), and then gave it to them. I still have my partner’s CD though. I remember 3 songs though   Hakuna Matata (Baha Men- Disney Mania CD!) Laugh s...

June is “Migraine awareness month! And being that I haven't given a Chiari update for a while, I figured that maybe the end of June might be the time. This is kinda a “woe is me” post, but not to make you feel bad for me, but just because migraines SUCK! With a lot of Awareness Months, they use the month to spread awareness of early signs of detection, how and where to get screened, and to raise funds for the cause. With migraine awareness there isn't really that push (other than to maybe raise money for research but I don't have a favorite fund so I’m not going to even go into that) so, I think I am going to use this month (or this blog post) to help others understand that people with migraines are people. I live a life, well sometimes. I have a favorite food, ice cream (actually it’s donuts). I have a job, well for 9 months in the year… and take every sick day I am offered because of migraines. To be diagnosed with Chronic Migraine, you must have: 1.      Headache ...

Yellow dasies with 3 giant Gerbera dasies right in the middle. And they weren't forget-me-nots, but close. They were purple on color ansade it complete. I don't think there could have been a better gift for me after hearing that she could not find the heart beat.  You see, the gerberas remind me of my nephew. For his funeral we got giant orange ones. Yellow is G-Dawgs favorite color. Forget-me-nots are the flower in my mom's garden that helps me to remember Dillon is always with me. Watching and protecting.   I was with my cousins the morning after my grandma passed, and while we were upset, one of them asked their dad in a search for understanding, "So now instead of rocking us, Grandma is in heaven rocking Dillon and Manti?"  Again, what a gift to receive, to remind me that my baby is in heaven with the 3 angels I love most and aspire to be.  "I can.... I can't find the heartbeat." I wake up those words often. It is the worst nightmare a woman can ...