Life of Sare

Growing up I had headaches all the time. I spent a lot of time crying in my dark dark room at really young ages because my migraines were so bad. I had a great pediatrician growing up and he always equated it to my sinuses (I was ALWAYS congested). I took a lot of antibiotics as a child for sinus infections. I was also super lucky, because I had a nurse mom who would just call my amazing pediatrician and say, "Another infection..." and he would call in the medication, at least that's how I remember it. And, while I did have sinus infections a lot, that was not always the reason for my headaches when I was little.   In high school I was super accident prone. Basketball practices were the prime time to make jokes about me being on the ground again, and my coaches would check my shoe laces and tie them in triple knots. The fourth or fifth time I would fall, hard (and this was at every practice mind you), Coach would walk up to the black lines and wipe them down just to ...

I’ve taken some time off. And when I say “some time” a mean almost a year. And when I say “off”, I mean I have been doing my best to live my best life. Not long after I wrote my last blog post, I bought myself a necklace. It is really simple, and I haven’t taken it off since. It is a reminder to not go out into the world to find myself but to create myself. In the last year, REcreating myself is exactly what I have been looking to do. Let’s address the elephant in the room, or on the blog should I say? Transitioning from a wife back into the single world has been strange. I am going to do my best to avoid the WHYS behind the divorce, for respect of both of us, but hindsight is 20/20, and I can see now, that a year ago I was in a real unhealthy place. I transitioned from the girl who planned a giant casino night for the whole university to the girl who was afraid to leave her house for fear of what people would think. I shifted from the girl who would talk to anyone about ...

I LOVE my night job. It is only one night a week, and only 2 hours. My monthly paycheck pays for 2 weeks’ worth of gas. I definitely don’t love it for the money. But, I can tell you why I love it. I love my job because we talk about Personal Power. We talk about the importance of making a choice and owning it. We talk about being proud of decisions you make and making sure to use your Personal Power in a positive way, doing something you would be happy to tell your mom about. I love my job because we talk about owing your emotions. We practice I statements, and knowing that our emotions are ours and no one made us feel that way, but that our reaction is something that personally belongs to us. We talk about how with our reactions we have consequences, and consequences are not always bad. We talk about how it is okay to feel angry and upset, but how we express our anger needs to be positive. We now know that when we are angry, we never hurt ourselves. This means we avoid negative s...

June is “Migraine awareness month! And being that I haven't given a Chiari update for a while, I figured that maybe the end of June might be the time. This is kinda a “woe is me” post, but not to make you feel bad for me, but just because migraines SUCK! With a lot of Awareness Months, they use the month to spread awareness of early signs of detection, how and where to get screened, and to raise funds for the cause. With migraine awareness there isn't really that push (other than to maybe raise money for research but I don't have a favorite fund so I’m not going to even go into that) so, I think I am going to use this month (or this blog post) to help others understand that people with migraines are people. I live a life, well sometimes. I have a favorite food, ice cream (actually it’s donuts). I have a job, well for 9 months in the year… and take every sick day I am offered because of migraines. To be diagnosed with Chronic Migraine, you must have: 1.      Headache ...

Since being diagnosed with Chiari, a food log has been introduced into my life. This is both a blessing and a curse. I hate seeing all the crap I eat in a day! It is so gross. But I do love that I am better able to control my migraines lately just based off of what I eat.  There are a few things we have noticed that trigger migraines for me.  1. My bite size breakfast. I hate breakfast foods, there are few things I will eat in the morning. Christian is an amazing husband and knows that if he pre cuts an avocado, a banana, and a chicken apple sausage and lines them up nice and straight I will eat it all up. The problem is, all 3 of those are migraine triggers. So I can no longer have all 3 for a meal I can only have one.  2. Hotdogs. This is one I am not even sad about. Last time we had hotdogs I had more than I needed and then stated that I don't even like hotdogs, I just eat them because they are there. But now that we have been able to link those to my migraines I defin...

As promised, here is a quick update on my brain. Sorry- No pictures   I sill have Chiari Malformation Type 1.   A few weeks ago I met with a neurosurgeon to decide our next move. We talked about my symptoms and my tonsil, and the surgeon decided that the surgery's risk outweighs the rewards. So, we are still in the same spot. Pain, pain, and more pain.   I have been working on a headache journal, and at first, I documented every day. This lasted about 3 weeks, then I forgot about it. I then only documented the last 24 hours leading up to a headache where I rated the pain at a 7 or higher. When I document this I make sure to mention what I ate, how much water I am drinking (I try to drink   3 liters a day!), and what physical activity (if any) I have done.   Last Tuesday, my sister and I made a day out of my doctor's appointment in Salt Lake to see my neurologist. Nothing has changed, and my neurologist seems to be as frustrated as I am with the lack of ur...

I used to hate Mondays. Then I looked forward to Mondays. Monday was my day. I got to help her up. Make her breakfast. And spend all day with her. Monday was the day I learned most from my Grandma, because I was with her from 8 am to 9 pm. Monday's were spend drinking a Diet Dew or 2, eating at least 2 cookies, and always watching Days of Our Lives. There would be a sewing project, a heated conversation due to our clashing generations, then a kiss good night. "Love you G! See you tomorrow."  Now, Monday's are the hardest. I wake up, clean the house, do a project or 2, then go to bed.  There are a lot of things I never thought to learn because G just knew how. For instance, making potato soup. I don't think anyone will ever be able to fill that void. Or fixing holes in jeans. I mean I can, but G just did such a better job so I would just let her do it. And, rarely growing up did you see an iron out unless for a sewing project.  Today, Christian needed his clothes i...

Hi,  It's me Bray!! A lot of you have been asking my humans when they are going to have a baby human, and I mean, why wouldn't you? Look how good they look with human kids (sorry human cousins I cut out)! And face it, this family has a lot of good looking human babies hanging around lately. I don't blame all of you for being baby hungry!  But becoming a parent is a big decision, and mom has been really up and down lately with her headaches. She and Dad decided they really need to think through having a child and when it is the right time to bring a human into the world. Mom has a doctor appointment on Monday with her neurosurgeon, and Dad has been researching lots of things to do for Mom so that her headaches can go away without taking all those harsh medicines. Mom can't take most her meds she is on when she is pregnant. They have been talking a lot, and they ask me all the time if I want a sibling. I do, and I want a brother!  That being said, I thought I would take t...